It's Been A Long Morning Here

...and just five minutes ago, at 12:15 or so, he began dozing in my arms, for the first time today.

Don't get me wrong.  I revel in his chasing Isaac around the rooms, his squeals of laughter as I tickle him and the way he somehow holds onto his bink while he laughs or even sneezes.  He is one of the greatest delights of my days.

He is fourteen months now, complete with a strong personality and a desire to exert it whenever it serves his purposes.  He is extremely carefree, able to go with the flow, as long as the flow means we put his shoes on and open the back door so he can literally run as fast as his legs will take him to explore the yard or take off those shoes and walk down the sidewalk to the corner and then if I try to turn him around, he lets me know that THAT is NOT what he wants to do.

Yesterday was a beautiful day and we were outside A LOT.  That gave me an opportunity to watch him and see how he's wired.

...all I can say is FASCINATING.

Joshua has a way of melting hearts by this adorable face he makes.  I don't have it on film yet, but I will!

In about forty days, his cousin, Preston, who is two months younger and his three sisters will be visiting and I cannot fathom how much fun it's going to be to see the two of them playing and talking!

Until next time...

"So, 'I acknowledge you, Lord of heaven and earth', articulating my praise to you for my beginnings and my infancy which I do not recall.  You have also given mankind the capacity to understand oneself by analogy with others, and to believe much about oneself on the authority of weak women.  Even at that time I had existence and life, and already at the last stage of my infant speechlessness I was searching out signs by which I made my thoughts known to others. Where can a living being such as an infant come from if not from you, God?  Or can anyone become the cause of his own making?  Or is there any channel through which being and life can be drawn into us other than what you make us, Lord?..."                          Confessions  by St. Augustine

As Joshua turned a year old this month, his growth and development have exponentially grown and watching him express his needs and wants reminds me that every word, prayer and the time invested are eternal, as is he.

He's cutting teeth right now and most of my time has been spent holding him, cuddling and praying for him to get to the other side of this pain.  Isn't that what grammas are for, anyway?  

For two days, he's wandered around in search of his best friend, Norah June.  There are no gates up now and the echoes from less furniture have given way to very loud squeals and noise that fills the hollowness of our home since they've left.  Fortunately for both of them, they don't comprehend what's happened and thankfully, we have facetime and videos we'll keep sending each other.

This is a new season for Josh.  He has two amazing, marvelous uncles that adore him and are investing in his just as his daddy did some fifteen years ago!  History repeating itself is pretty awesome when Love is at the core.

Gramma Believes

Where has a year gone?  In three weeks, Joshua Liam will be a one year old!

He started taking steps this past weekend, wobbling sideways as he goes.  

...and I am reminded of how faith is like this.  We begin by believing in Jesus.  All is grand.  But we don't move fast or far and sometimes we go backwards.  But we keep moving, all the while, believing.

My journey this week has been one of watching, standing and moving forward in my faith that God's Word is my reality, no matter how sick everyone around me gets.  He will keep me healthy.  

Joshie needs me to be well; my family needs me well.  

And so I fight the good fight of faith, believing, walking forward towards Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith.

...we learn about stuff and talk

He's sound asleep, the monitor humming white noise as I sit here at my computer.  

He is generally asleep by nineish; we, on the other hand, open the information screen on each of our desks and the boys begin Literature/Composition.  Today, because they've listened ahead to 'Tom Sawyer',  jump to fragments/clauses and then on to the cavities of the body in Anatomy/Physiology.

Each morning, Monday through Friday, I hear a knock.  A little hand SOMEHOW opens the door to my bedroom and this is what I see:

After a few minutes of discussing when he ate, what time he woke up and if he did something new last night, we send daddy off.

This, too, has become another opportunity to establish a daily routine...waving and kissing daddy goodbye by slapping the window and squealing~

He's so big and amazing...

How can I describe to you what being Josh's gramma is like?  It's like chocolate mixed up in sunshine; with lots of beautifully scented flowers all over the place...
...well, maybe not like that.
It's more like this:
Every morning, I get my coffee, sit on my bed, open the Word and begin to read or I'm finishing up when the front door opens.  What comes next is the greatest gift!
I sit up straight, wait and listen...
A little boy's hand knocks ever so softly on my bedroom door and I say, 'Come in'...and then he peeks his head around the corner and BEGINS TO SMILE BIG, KICK HIS LEGS AND ARMS AND I'M IN HEAVEN!  He's thrilled to see me and I reciprocate by squealing my excitement to see him!

Joshua just turned nine months a little over two weeks ago.

Every day I am in awe of how smart, happy and delightful he is.

I am a thankful gramma.  He is a gift I revel in each day.

The fountain

At this moment, he sleeps. He is on his side, listening to the sound of classical music and dreaming of the fountain we saw earlier before the mall opened. He awoke when I took him into Hobby Lobby just to peruse.  It must have been the lights...or maybe I slowed down and the movement wasn't the same.
But whenever he wakes up, he's cheery.  Every time!

So I sat him up and we continued on our way, out of Hobby Lobby and around one more time so gramma can get some exercise.  As the elevator door opened, I spied the fountain...the one that's been gone for a while.  There it was, shooting water into the air and so, out we went.

Here is his expression:

Doesn't get much better than that!

He's awake...

Just because...

One can really never know what delights await around the corner of time.  

I live for each surprise.

...and this is a good thing.

The night before my mother went to heaven, on March 20th, we were informed by our son, Joshua, in a very sweet way, that we were going to be grandparents.  We were ecstatic that night.

The next morning, though, at about five thirty in the morning, life changed.  Forever changed.
Mom was gone.
She went to sleep and never woke up.   

For months, wrapped in grief, I had lost touch with the reality of my life.  I was in autopilot with school, marriage and family.  I had no clue my dad would decide to go back to NY three weeks after her death.  

It had to be at least two months or so when it hit me...

I'M GOING TO BE A GRAMMA!  I'd forgotten altogether!

On November 14th, Joshua Liam was born!

Fast forward to last month..after much thought and prayer, I asked his mommy and daddy if I could be his caregiver and they said YES!  

WE are thrilled to be with this very active, tactile, 'living life big' little man and as our hearts melt together, I can't begin to imagine the impact he'll have on all of us. 

While he sleeps, I'll write..about him.  His growth, his temperament, and how he's changing our life.

It's his second week with us and already he's grown.  I'm sure he'll change each day and we don't want to miss any of the changes.  Last week, he scooted to get to whatever it was he wanted.  This week, just today, he has been moving his legs in sync with his arms to get around.

For the first time for me, when I put my hands out to encourage him to come to me, he crawled over and raised his arms so I could pick him up.  

He is amazing.
This is gonna be one big adventure!